Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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