If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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