So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
