and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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