Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
