ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Randomize
