All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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