It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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