so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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