He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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