I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm passing your future prison.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
