My first STD was from a foam party
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
