im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
