Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
These tits shall not be calmed
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
