We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
