Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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