Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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