Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
