I got chris browned last night
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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