theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
