This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
