Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
