we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
