My room smells like vodka and shame
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
