Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
no you cant smoke seaweed
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
