guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
