I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
