We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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