I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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