Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I need a beard to bite.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
