If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
