Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
