Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
