At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
