I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
