saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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