I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
