you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
