Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
do herpes really smell.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
