When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just want nice things and good sex
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
