Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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