I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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