I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
