Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
