I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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