u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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