yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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