I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think my fart just growled at me.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
