You're so nebulous sometimes
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
