shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
